How to handle your family on Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is coming, brace yourselves.

That means awkward conversations about personal matters in your life, cringing at racially/sexually inappropriate jokes your uncle makes and worst of all... political conversations.

Take it from me being a journalist, these conversations are the worst, especially in today's climate. However, they aren't ever going to go away - unless you fake your death through an elaborate hot air balloon accident and go into hiding.

For those of you that aren't that bold to move your entire life to avoid these conversations, here are some things you can do to make Thanksgiving dinner a little less sucky.

1) Get a good beer/wine armor going

Right out of the gate, drink.

I am not saying that you need to get shit faced. In fact, getting wasted at a family event like this is possibly the worst idea you can have.

That being said, getting a good buzz and developing an armor of fuzziness can't hurt you either. The alcohol will warm you up and make you feel loose around your uncle talking about #MeToo and Black Lives Matter. You won't be as on edge and feel like you need to interject and tell him why he's wrong.

(Side note: he's definitely wrong and you aren't crazy.)

I recommend a Riesling or wine that isn't dry. That way you can be even more comfortable while you listen to your auntie tell the same story over again. For added comfort, drink beer like Bud Light or Miller High Life. Even if you don't enjoy the taste of beer, it's like camouflage because your famil with think you're down to earth and love America.


2) An extended bathroom break

I do this a lot. I borderline abuse this.

Bathrooms are the best place to sit for a few minutes and gather your thoughts. They're almost always soundproof so most uncomfortable conversations are muffled. They're almost always decorated in some sort of calming way and it gives you a built-in excuse as to why you were in there forever.

If you can't find a quiet room or basement where relatives can't chase you down, grab your phone and sit in the bathroom for 30 minutes like an adult. When your social battery has been recharged, step back out into the crossfire like Kevin Costner in Dances with Wolves.

For added effect, make straining noises to really hammer home that you shouldn't have had two helpings of your cousin's green bean casserole. No one will even bother to knock on the door.

3) Being open-minded

This one is hard, but hear me out.

You don't have to argue with your relatives about what's right and wrong in politics all the time. Thanksgiving dinner is an especially poor place for this practice. If they want to go on about Trump building a wall, let them.

Just be sure to ask questions and ask more questions and then ask more questions. Make them explain themselves all the way down to a T. Not only will this give you a chance to relax and collect your thoughts, but it will also force them to explain why they feel the way they do.

I am a strong believer that both sides of a story need to be heard and understood, we aren't drawing battle lines over Turkey and mashed potatoes. It certainly doesn't have to be an armed standoff over the stuffing just because you disagree with your family about the Russia Investigation.

(I will say though that it will be an armed standoff if I don't get more than one serving of my mom's homemade stuffing. I will burn bridges and draw blood for that, don't test me, Uncle Larry.)

Besides, maybe you find something you agree with your relatives on.

The Bottom Line:

Face it, these encounters are always going to happen. It's okay to take a breather or remove yourself from the conversation and it's absolutely okay if you want to change the subject. It's important to realize though that these people are not the enemy.

It's not that you shouldn't fight the tide and if you want to still debate your family or interject your thoughts into the conversation, do it. These ideas are more for those looking for a way to ease tensions and work with the tide a bit more.

Of course, there are 100% times that you have to interject and put your foot down, I'll leave that up to you to decide when.

Either way, I hope your holiday sucks a bit less and you have a good time.